Sideshow

I wish I could be a mystery
poetically like the words
which flow from me
I wish no one could
ever see right through
my emotions, my hearts
tell-tale vulnerability…

I wish no one ever knew
how hard I’ve fallen for you
but now no doubt they know
it’s not a sideshow yet
it’s not a tabu affair
just because of my deep joy
whenever you are here or there

why is it such fodder for me
to laugh giggle or blush
because your presence
makes my heart rush
if only they knew the deal
how your belief in me keeps
it all real…

how when the lights are
down after each mic sign off
and every curtain call that
you are the only one who remains
to help sustain the insecure
little girl inside, the nervous me

where confidence doesn’t reside
the angry me who sees myself as
a total fail and knows my life isn’t
a fairy tale that at home there
is no more happily ever after
only torn pages in a horrible
life chapter…

but no matter how sad or blue
after each show I can always
count on you with tender mercy to say
I am worthy..to shower me with praise
and critics harsh eye saying there are
no limits beyond the sky…

see they are on the outside
observing our play but never
will they know the truth of the day
its more than a silly poetic infatuation
or ego adulation…

I am so many pieces of
a broken little girl
but for some reason
a priority in your world…
making me think there is
the chance for sincere love
maybe a romance…
but cross the line I dare not do

because these feelings will
one day make me feel blue but
for now I think I don’t really mind
what people may think or what
they may even say…for once

I just wish to play like a teen aged girl
with a heavy crush and I will enjoy
each time you make me laugh, giggle
or blush…because whenever
the chips are down and the teardrops
begin to fall…

you are the one who is
always there to break my fall
it is your voice which renews me
so I strive to be better than
my last show or best poetry…

because of you…

I have grown exponentially
you hydrate me emotionally with
your knowledge, your strength
your friendship is a labyrinth

you mentally cleanse
my body, soul, my mind
the connection we have is truly divine
you are one beautiful blessing
I count gratefully every night, each day

so unapologetically…

I will let the naysayers nay
let the spectators see what they will
but I will not apologize for the joy
our special friendship makes me feel.

~Sublime Poetess
(C) 2012

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~ by Le Sublime Poétesse on July 3, 2012.

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